The Onion does German?

America's Finest News Source, onion.com, has long played with German-language stuff. I've always assumed that about the names of the founders, the Zweibel family, which has gotta be German Zwiebel 'onion' with a little orthographic play.

So the next-to-last-item below isn't a shock:

But when you get to the horoscopes, I'm baffled by this:

Wundt, first off, presumably counts as a psychologist (a founder of the modern field, in fact) and I thought he trained in the natural sciences. (No time to check right now.) So, he's a philosopher only in a very broad sense. Is this some really smart allusion to XPhi? The rest were more prototypical philosophers, and German-language ones, I'll grant, but Heidegger was born in September of 1889, so not a "19th century" philosopher in any usual sense.

Wtf?