The Onion is so smart …I'm just sorry that they didn't riff a little on how badly the alphabet represents the sounds of English.Potato-Faced Youngster Lauded For Memorizing Primitive 26-Character Alphabet
Christopher Pierson, a glassy-eyed, slothful lump of a child who still watches cartoons despite being tall enough to reach a polymer-injection molding station, was endlessly praised Monday for recalling the scant 26 letters in the American alphabet.Pierson reportedly rattled off the short series of guttural vowels and lumbering, artless consonants after 10 minutes of prompting, a feat that—judging from his overly indulgent teacher's reaction—must rival the great triumph of launching a satellite into orbit. Though witnesses said the unremarkable 4-year-old may also have slurred the letters "L" through "O" into one continuous stream of nonsense, he somehow avoided immediate expulsion and reassignment to a rural millet farm. …
Warner then gave the boy a star-shaped sticker, explaining that he had learned the unsophisticated system of characters containing no ideogrammic compounds or transformed cognates more quickly than she'd expected.
1 comment:
I read that Korean is 'morphophonemic' just like English. Does Korea have spelling bees? If not, maybe we could introduce them and make a mint...
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