News Flash from Borowitz: Bush Repeals English Language

Yeah, it's cheap, but it's probably our last shot:

Last Official Act as President

In what he hoped would be the capstone to his eight years as President, George W. Bush today signed an executive order repealing the English language.

Scrawling his name on the official document, Mr. Bush said that in abolishing English he had vanquished his "greaterest enemy."

For Mr. Bush, the executive order represents the realization of a longstanding dream that began in 2001 when he declared an official War on Grammar.

The President followed up that declaration of war in 2003 when he signed an executive order cancelling the agreement between nouns and verbs.

OK, so it's really cheap.

Full story here. Hat tip (almost wrote 'hat trick') to C.R.